In the course of a week I’ve managed to turn my life upside down. It’s disorienting, yet exhilarating and something tells me although the transition is a chaotic one, the choices I made are right.
I didn’t think it would happen so quickly, but the day after my first interview I received an offer. I was hoping to have a bit more time alone before jumping back into a 9 to 5, and I still have a chef service client contract to honor and somehow work into my schedule for the next few weeks, but I asked the Divine for guidance and this is what I got. Abundance.
I could have gone to see a therapist to seek help or to get some pills to make me feel better about the changes I wasn’t making, but I didn’t. I truly believe all the answers are inside me. I just wasn’t listening before.
I changed my life. I don’t want to sound like one of those “recovery” people, because I am not part of a program…but I have to say that I have never experienced such mental and emotional clarity as I have since I quit drinking. There’s simply nothing else to do…nowhere else for my mind to go. I can’t escape anymore into that dreamy, velvet, pacifying buzz. I am here in my reality. So, I started doing some serious mental housekeeping.
I am not the same person I was three years ago. I am not even the same person I was two months ago. I am constantly evolving. I am here, with my thoughts, with my feelings, every single one of them. I get depressed sometimes, yes. And it can last for a few days or a few hours, sometimes just a passing moment. I allow myself these emotions. They pass just like the others. I feel, often processing the feelings through writing a poem, or I sing for an hour, then I let them go. Old wounds are starting to heal.
As I take a more active role in my experience I feel my energy shift. I feel empowered. Less vulnerable. Stronger.