I wish to thank all of you who have hung in with my blog this past couple of weeks, even reaching out with comments of praise or of encouragement. It means a lot to me. I didn’t think it would. As much as I tell myself this writing project is a practice just for myself, I admit I anticipate follows, likes and comments just as much as anyone else. We all have a desire to be witnessed. To be heard.
I am not an entertainer. I’m just a woman, expressing my thoughts, ideas and emotions in what I consider a safe space. I have no interest in creating a brand or building a marketing platform or any other such nonsense. I am grateful WordPress gives me a place to share my creative works and to view the work of others, many of whom inspire and feed me in truly healthy ways.
Yes, the blog is evolving–and so am I. And thank God for that. And at times it will regress and then spin back again. I am not trying to control this particular journey. I’m just along for the ride, here. Whatever comes up for me each day is what I write about. There are certain threads I try to follow, but there’s no telling when I will lose interest in a story I am writing and just let it drop– never picking it up again. Because I can.
I sat in my car yesterday before work, fighting back the tears that had been building all morning. Terrified of what the day might hold. I decided to breathe. And to listen to a soothing voice. Davidji always calms and reassures me when I am scared or sad. I listened to the guided meditation, “Infinite Flexibility (opening to change)”. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. One passage really stayed with me all day: “change is simply the process of life being lived”. Wow. Just relax. And live. That’s all I had to do.
I had a much better day at work than I anticipated. I am actually starting to get a foot hold in understanding what I am doing. I still had the energy I needed when I got home to prep for my cook date today with my last client, Callie, a seasonal equestrian competitor.
I will miss this life. But it’s all part of the process.