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I have a bad habit of pressing the issue. Give me a thread of hope to hang onto and I will knit a sweater. But I deserve this dinner. I deserve this date. I deserve everything promised that night—in the spaces between kisses—between his hands on my body.

I can hardly wait. The anticipation stirs in the well of my stomach all day. Ever-present excitement. Gotta find just the right outfit. Not too eager, casual, yet alluring. Planning…. damp with the thought of the evening to come.

My heart races as I ease my Corolla into the parking lot of his condo. He stands against the wall, aloof, casually waiting. I don’t recognize him at first. He is wearing a sky blue oxford and khakis. Drop dead handsome. Dark sunglasses. My pulse quickens as  he slides into the passenger seat. I am so pleased with what I see.

Manly, yet boyish. I am smitten. We drive…. make small talk….very small. “Talk.” He directs. What to say. All I can think about is being in his bed. The scent, the taste, the feel of his flesh….his sweat….hot, yet tender, caresses on his body. His kisses, so soft…tentative..slow.. his tongue gently insistent. We drive…. He doesn’t know me. Doesn’t seem to want to know me. What does he want? The same thing I want?

Conchy Joe’s is the kind of restaurant tourists visit while on vacation. Tropical steel drum band on Sunday evenings– a cool, breezy atmosphere. Nestled in a crook of the roadway running parallel to the ocean, the rustic old building with the thatched roof looks like an old crab shack converted into a bar and eatery for locals.

The large free-form gravel and sheet rock parking lot holds more than a few cars for a Tuesday night. We follow the hostess across the wood plank floors to a small table for two under the covered outdoor deck. I am so excited to be here with HIM. It has taken weeks to coordinate schedules so we can finally have this evening together.

I remember that first night at the wine bar. The tension of illicit adventures to come. The feeling of being desired—wanted in that special way. Even if it was just my body he wanted. At least he wanted some part of me.

It is enough for now. The rest will come over time. He will grow into the relationship. They always do. I am content to be the rebound girl. Feeding on the detritus of a decaying relationship. Anything but another night at home with the T.V.

Yes, this is way better.

To be continued…

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