I decide to meditate first thing after my coffee this morning. Just fifteen minutes of silent, awake, non-thinking makes a big difference in my attitude and behavior. I notice my every act becomes slower, more mindful. I want to do this every day.
After a light breakfast, I climb on my bike and just ride without a destination. I find I am in luck–it’s spring break. My neighborhood is a connection point between three different schools and the traffic can be intense most weekday mornings.
I meander the quiet residential streets, just breathing in the softness of the cool air– appreciating the stillness in everything I see. All the life that goes on beyond my own four walls. I realize over the past few months I have withdrawn so far into myself that I often overlook all this beauty right outside my door.
We visited the beach at Hobe Sound just after sunrise yesterday morning, my idea. It’s been a while since we did a nature walk together, camera gear in tow, although we used to do it all the time. I forgot how much I enjoy the out of doors when the temperature and the humidity are lower. How it gets me out of my mind and into my body. It opens my heart.
Walking along the shoreline, both together and alone with my quiet companion, I begin to formulate a notion that there must be a disconnect, an interruption in the flow between my heart and my mind and my actions. That perhaps the energy, the fear, the anxiety gets trapped in my body, locked in my muscles, weighing me down and blocking positive and self-affirming action.
The evidence being that whenever I get into my body through even the most basic exercise, especially in nature, everything seems to open up and become clear. I get so many creative ideas. I can breathe more easily in the spaciousness of my surroundings. The possibilities open up. I am reminded that I am not the world. I play just a minor part in something much larger.
I brought a small notepad and pen with me on my bike ride just in case I got any fleeting ideas. I stopped off at the little park by the middle school I myself attended not so long ago to rest on a bench by the playground. The first thing I wrote on my pad was a note to remember to bring a composition book on my next ride. And then I flowed from there…scribbling all the thoughts I collected in this state of active relaxation…this moving meditation.
It’s going to be okay. I just need to keep the doors of communication open. Stop trying to leave my body. Know that the right action is always available. Stay present in my experience. In this moment, there is only peace.
And gratitude. For every right AND wrong action that brought me to this place of awareness.