On my night off, I persuade Alan to meet me at the beach after work. I stop at the gas station and pick up a six pack of Killian’s Red and one of those key chain bottle openers. Pulling up to the gravel shoulder along the dunes, I find him standing outside his rust-colored mid-80s model Mustang, hugging his folded arms against his red and blue flannel shirt. He is shivering, but smiling against the cool breeze blowing off the dark water. We share the  beers and light conversation sitting on the wooden stairs leading down to the sand.

Our slight inebriation eases the nervous tension and leads to kissing for an hour or so in the sand beneath the stairs. Laying there with the weight of his body on top of me, I run my hands gently down his long, smooth back. The wisps of downy fuzz just beneath the waistband of his jeans thrill my fingertips and I long  for so much more contact than this public venue will allow.

I want him and I can’t remember ever feeling this strongly before about anyone. He has awakened an animal lust in me and my hunger seems to grow stronger every day. I become more determined to fulfill my desire.

After that night, when we see each other at work  we talk and sometimes make out in the wash room before the shift. He loves the scent I wear—a designer imposter fragrance called “If you love Liz Claiborne you’ll love….”.

He is so quiet and gentle  and doesn’t seem to be in a hurry at all to move to the next level. Having been married for six years, and with a bit of sexual experience before my marriage, I have a pretty solid idea of what I want.

Within a week or two after our first kiss, I finally seduce him out of his clothes and we make love in the wee hours of the morning. His body is trembling and nervous–even after an entire evening of foreplay on the living room sofa.

For me, this is the culmination of everything I want. I need to satisfy this desire to possess this wild, elusive young man. He is something exotic and obscure that I can’t resist. To say I adore him would be an understatement. I have watched him from afar, longed for him, willed this into being. And now it is real.

My dear, beautiful Alan. I will show you how to please me. And I will please you, beyond your imagination of what men and women do together.

To be continued…